Entering into a relationship is nothing less than pure bliss. It can be such an exciting time for several reasons.
I was never the type of person to be in back to back relationships. I always took my time entering into romantic relationships, because I didn’t want to waste my time. I didn’t want to rush into a relationship only to find out that it wouldn’t work out for multiple reasons. One of the reasons why rushed relationships crash and burn is because one or both of the people entering a relationship do not even like each other, they are infatuated with idea of being in a relationship.
The American Psychiatric Association has never acknowledged love addiction as an addiction that actually exist, yet we all have friends who seem to be holding on to a toxic relationship.
If you are a love addict or simply do not know when it is time to let go of a relationship do not be ashamed. Below I list a few reasons why it may be time to leave a relationship.
- Physical Abuse
If your partner is putting their hands on you, you need to leave the relationship. You cannot predict the first time that someone is going to hit you, but if they hit you once they will hit you again. Sometimes the person doesn’t hit you, but they shake you, push you, throw you around, or simply use their strength against you. If you ever find yourself in any these situations it is very scary. You are strong enough to leave and you need to before something worse happens. No matter how much you love your partner you need to go. Love doesn’t hurt. Someone who loves you will not hurt you and sorry doesn’t change what he or she has done to you. There are many organizations available to help you leave and ensure your safety.
- Verbal Abuse
Verbal abuse includes and is not limited to frequent anger, sarcasm, criticism, judgments, threats, and undermining. Again love does not hurt. If someone loves you they will not tear you down with your words. A romantic partner is supposed to be your better half and challenge you to be the best person that you can possibly be. If he or she is not willing to love you, grow, heal, and learn with you. Then it is time to leave.
3. You Are In A Relationship Because You Are Lonely
Please do not be in a relationship simply because you are lonely. I could not imagine doing this. Neither one of you are going to be happy. You are settling just because you want someone around and your partner is eventually going to have a broken heart because you never truly cared. If you are alone, you are alone for a reason. Take some time and work on yourself. Beyoncé said it best, “I’m known to walk alone/But I’m alone for a reason/Sending me a drink ain’t appeasing.”
4. You Still Have Feelings For Your Ex
If you still have feelings for your ex then you should end your current relationship. You should end your relationship, because you do not want to be stringing someone along when you still have feelings for someone else. Feelings that come back around are feelings that never left. It’s okay if your ex crosses your mind every now and then, but if you find yourself reminiscing on old times then maybe you are not completely over them. You should give yourself some more time to get over your ex and have some me time.
If you two agreed to being exclusive then cheating is unacceptable. Call me old school but I believe once a cheater always a cheater. If your partner cheats on you once they are going to cheat again, because they are not happy. It is possible to forgive a cheater, but it will take tremendous effort for both parties to actually take the appropriate steps to move forward. Also if the person is a habitual cheater, they obviously no longer want to be in the relationship. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who does not respect you enough to tell you the truth? Better yet, why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who does not want to be in a relationship with you?
7. You Don’t Get Along
If the two of you mistreat each other maybe you two should pursue other romantic partners. The two of you should not be disrespectful towards each other. That’s no fun. You each deserve someone who is going to respect you and the only way to find that person is by leaving. Outside of being disrespectful to each other you may not be getting along because of a lack of communication. I use to sit my ex-boyfriend down and tell him everything that I was unhappy with in our relationship and solutions I had to our issues. I then asked him if he had any issues that he wanted to discuss. I always tried to keep our lines of communication open, because without good communication we were destined for failure. Open communication allows things to be approved upon. Finally if your relationship is full of drama it’s time to go. We are young adults there is no reason to be dealing with a drama king or queen.
8. It’s Only Physical
If you and your partner only have a physical attraction it’s probably time to end your relationship. Neither of you are growing as people; you are just having sex because you like each other’s bodies. When relationships like this take place someone usually begins to become romantically attached and that turns the other person off. If you two can work out a friends with benefits type of relationship then by all means go for it, but a strictly physical romantic relationship is most likely not going to work out.
9. Going to Jail
If your partner has been charged with a serious crime and is going to jail for a long period of time you need to end the relationship immediately. You both are not going to jail so you should not put your life on hold, because your partner ended up on the wrong side of the law. There is no “I’m going to hold it down out here for 3 years, until you come out.” Respect yourself and respect your time. If your partner seriously valued your relationship they wouldn’t have done anything to drastically compromise your time together. In those years you have goals to accomplish and people to meet.
10. They Want Out of the Relationship
If your partner tells you they want out of the relationship, let them go! If you try to continue the relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, you are wasting your time. They are not confused, they will not change their mind, they do not need convincing, and they will not come around later. They do not want to be with you and you cannot make someone love you. The singer Tank did a great cover of a song called, I Can’t Make You Love Me. The song is all about how you cannot force someone to have feelings you if they don’t. I have two blog post titled Bro, She’s Just Not That Into You and He is Just Not That Into You, check them out if you ever find yourself in this situation.