Breaking up is hard to do. Especially when you are breaking up with someone you love. Sometimes breaking up is a necessity, I recently wrote a blog post listing several reasons why it may be time to end a relationship.
Breaking up takes an emotional toll on both of the parties involved. Not many people look forward to being dumped and the bearer of bad news usually doesn’t want to hurt the person he/she once deeply cared for.
If you are you contemplating how to break up with your lover without making them regret the day he/she met you please consider the correct way to break up with someone.
Preparing For The Breakup
1. Make Sure this is Something That You Want to Do
Prior to breaking up with someone take the proper amount of time to make sure that this is something you actually want to do. Make sure you know why you are leaving the person.
The first question your partner is going to ask is, “Why?”
You should be ready to answer this question. The reasons should be valid, easily understood, and respectable. Do not breakup with someone out of anger, spite, or any other temporary emotion.
You need to be sure that you want to end the relationship, because you do not want to develop an “on again, off again” type of relationship. Your partner is going to get tired of you breaking up with him/her and then wanting to be back in the relationship a few days later. You should not play with someone’s emotions, because you are not sure of yours.
Once you are sure this is something you must do, plan to have the breakup conversation as soon as possible.
2. Remember to Do It With Style and Grace
Don’t stress about the fact that you want to breakup with your boyfriend/girlfriend. It will show when you execute the breakup.
It is important to not tell your friends or your partner’s friends that you plan on ending the relationship. Word of mouth gets around very fast and your partner will find out before you have a chance to tell him or her yourself.
Do not imply anything on any of your social networking sites, again you want to be sensitive and not have someone wondering if they are going to get dumped or not.
3. Find the Appropriate Time and Place
Do not go to your partner’s house to breakup and do not breakup with your significant other in your house. You do not want to conduct the breakup at your partner’s house, because you do not want your partner’s living room to be associated with the negative feelings of getting dumped. Also if things go incredibly wrong you do not want your soon to be ex to get violent if he or she becomes angry.
What you should do is breakup with your partner in a public setting. This way the both of you are comfortable, in a neutral environment, and out of harms way.
You should try to breakup with your partner in the middle of day. Do not do it in the morning, because your significant other will be forced to think about what happened all day long. Getting dumped early in the a.m. is just a terrible way to start the day. Do not break up at night, because that will result in sleepless night filled with emotional turmoil.
4. Do it In Person
Please understand that no matter how gently you handle the break up, the other person is going to leave the situation hurt. This is something you are going to have to accept and it should inspire you to handle this situation with care.
Do not breakup with someone via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, or text message.
Changing your Facebook relationship status will embarrass and upset the person you are breaking up with. Everyone will see it, like it, comment on it, and possibly share it. You are giving the entire world a window into your private relationship.
Social networking sites and text messages do not illustrate any emotion and are the coward’s way of ending a relationship.
Do not cheat on them, act distant, ask someone else to do it for you, or cease all contact with your partner without explanation. Be up front and honest with your partner. Do not be passive aggressive or wait around for your partner to breakup with you due to your strange behavior.
Executing the Breakup
1. Remember to Do It With Style and Grace
When you are executing the breakup, BE SENSITIVE. Breakup with your partner in the manner that you would like to be broken up with.
Understand that he or she may cry, get upset, or angry. Despite all of these possible emotions that may arise it is very important that you do not back down.
Stand firm in your decision and politely explain why the relationship must end. Once you are prepared to have the conversation do not delay the conversation with irrelevant chitchat. Keep your wits about you and do not yell, curse, or act cold.
It’s okay to feel a bit nervous. Before you break the news take a deep breath and begin to tell them why you invited them out.
After The Breakup
1. Be Respectful Of Your Ex’s Feelings
Once the breakup is complete do not immediately go to Facebook or Twitter and broadcast to the world that you are single.
Respect your ex-lover and give them some time to regain emotional stability.S/he is already hurt from the breakup. You do not want to inflict any further pain by announcing to the world that he or she got dumped.
Do not tell the world the secrets the two of you shared and do not be quick to take down all of your pictures together. Remember to BE SENSATIVE.
2. Remain Cordial but Respect Your Ex-lovers Wishes
Just because you are broken up does not mean that you cannot remain cordial. Cordial does not mean remain friends. It doesn’t even mean become acquaintances. It means when you see them in the store, stop to say hello and ask how they are doing.
If your ex-lover has made it clear that they wish to cease all contact with you after the break up, respect his/her wishes. He or She has the right to not want to have any type of relationship with you.