No Daddy On Father’s Day

No Daddy On Father's Day

My mother and Me

Doreen Queenan has raised me for the past 20 years as a single mother. I do not wish my mother a Happy Father’s Day, because she is not a father. Father’s Day is not a day to bash deadbeat fathers or praise single mothers. It is a day designed to recognize fathers, brothers, cousins, uncles, grandfathers, friends, godfathers, stepfathers, and men who actively participate in the challenging yet rewarding task of raising a child.

I know Father’s Day can be extremely difficult for many who have not been raised by their fathers, have no relationship with their fathers, or do not know their fathers. Social media may intensify the bitterness, confusion, hurt, and anger that one feels as one scrolls down a timeline and sees friends posting pictures with their fathers. One could only wish to declare to the world the unconditional love felt for their father.

If your father is not in your life please do not feel discouraged or allow your sadness to hinder your success in life. You have the potential and the ability to accomplish whatever it is that your heart desires. Do not use this day to be bitter, angry, or jealous. Instead take time to reflect on how you can become a better human being. There are several ways to cope with not having a daddy on Father’s Day.

  1. Write Him A Letter

Write your father a letter and tell him everything that your lips cannot say. You never have to send the letter, you can actually tear it up as soon as you are finished writing it. While you are writing the letter weep if you need to, scream if you need to, and pay close attention to your to what your body is telling you. Allow your heart to dictate what you write on the page. Write whatever you feel for as long as you want. Write about your pain, it will make you feel better.

  1. Give Cards/Letters To The Father’s You Know

 One way to feel joy is to give joy. Write letters or give cards to the fathers that you do know; these men maybe brothers, uncles, neighbors, grandfathers, stepfathers, godfathers, cousins, pastors, or your friends. Tell them how much you appreciate the role that they play in your life.

  1. Spend Time With Your Father Figure

Spend time with someone who is a father figure in your life. For me that father figure would be my grandfather. Maybe you can discuss how you feel about your biological father’s absence with your father figure.

  1. Read The Bible

Some people find solace and comfort in the pages on The Bible. The Bible reads in Psalm 68:4-6, “Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Lift up a song for Him who rides through the deserts, Whose name is the LORD, and exult before Him. A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation. God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.…”  If you were raised in the Christian faith The Bible might be the best option to help you endure.

  1. Take Time to Reflect

Take some time to reflect on your life. What are your goals? How can you accomplish these goals? What is your life all about? How can you become a better person? What have you accomplished so far during your time here on earth? How will you persevere despite all of your adversities? Have some me time and reflect on where you are and where you would like to be.

If you never address your pain it will attack you from the inside out.


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