This post is completely and unapologetically inspired by my boyfriend. If you are dating a law student you probably hate this time of the semester just as much as I do-FINALS TIME. Finals time is so brutal, because your lover practically … Continue reading
Outgrowing certain people and habits are a necessary aspect of the maturing process. Leaving people in the past can be painful, but it is an essential step to becoming the best person that you can possibly be. Growing apart from someone is extremely similar to the life cycle of a plant. Hear me out on this one! When you plant a seed in a tiny pot you watch the plant grow so large that it will eventually need to be planted outside or in a larger pot. That plant does not mourn over the fact that it must sink its roots into an new environment. The plant rejoices in the fact that it now has space to grow and an opportunity to reach it’s full potential. If the plant stayed in the pot that was too small for it would die without knowing how large it could have gotten. Without ever reaching it’s full potential.
Not everyone is meant to be in your life for long periods of time. God will allow certain people to come into your life to teach you a few life lessons. Do not hold on to a situation that is killing or deterring your growth. Be grateful for every single person you meet because they all serve a purpose. Whether its to teach you, challenge you, or push you to greater heights. But do not be afraid to say goodbye.
It would be inappropriate of me to not apologize for the nearly two month hiatus I took from publishing to this blog. I have been terribly busy as a full-time student, part-time employee, 24-hour resident assistant, club member, friend, and … Continue reading
It took me longer than usual to figure out the exact message I wanted to articulate in this post. I was able to find all of the words to say, because I have had some bad friends that I have stopped associating with.
Every single person has had a bad friend before. The question is have we all learned our lesson? Have bad friends learned how to become the ideal friend?
I will be the first to admit that it is hard for me to let go of certain friendships. I usually struggle with letting go of friendships that I have had for years. I am a loyal and honest person, so when loyalty and honesty isn’t reciprocated I’m hurt. I’ve learned that not everyone is supposed to go with you to your next stage in life. Don’t continue to hold on to something that God wants you to let go of.
Everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes people do and say things that can threaten or severely damage their friendships. We would all like to think that we have amazing friends, but if you recognize any of the five traits listed below within one or some of your friends you may want to reevaluate your circle.
Below I have outlined 5 signs that you have a bad friend.
Takes and Rarely Gives
I am an only child so I never had to share with anyone on a consistent basis prior to college. College has taught me the importance of giving freely. In a friendship both parties should be willing to help each other in trying times and in not so trying times. You and your friend do not have to exchange physical gifts, but having a friend that gives you time and attention is so valuable. Having a shoulder to cry on is something that money can’t buy. If you have a friend that takes your time, gas and food for granted you may want to consider terminating that friendship.
Always With the Drama
I am a 21-year-old female and I live a completely drama free life. I will not invite a person into my life that involves his or herself with drama. Drama is usually birthed from a lack of communication and this communication major makes it a priority to communicate effectively. As you get older the drama in your life is supposed to decrease significantly. Life is too short not to be drama-free.
Tells Others Your Business
If you share information with your friend about your personal life and they tell someone else your personal business terminate that friendship on the spot. A friendship requires trust. If you tell your friend something because you are seeking advice or just need someone to vent to they should respect your privacy enough to keep that information to his or herself. Some people can’t help but gossip and a true friend would never gossip about someone they care about. A friend who feels comfortable spreading your business all around town probably feeds off of drama.
Not a Good Listener
I cannot be a friend to someone who does not listen well. I cannot befriend a poor listener, because we won’t be able to communicate with each other effectively. Those who do not communicate well are frustrating to work with. Also, when people care about each other they listen to each other’s stories no matter how boring the stories are.
You Always Reach Out To Them First
I believe that if the feelings are mutual the efforts will be equal. I’m a firm believer that people make time for what they believe is important. If your friend is always too busy to reach out to you then your friend doesn’t deem your friendship as something worthy of his or her time.
“My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.” –Lee Iacocca
HAPPY BIRTHDAY REAL TALK! Thank you to all of my readers and subscribers. This year has been one of growth, constant change, and experimenting. Thank you so much for supporting me and trusting my advice. Having a platform to share my life with you all means so much to me. I have learned so much about journalism and myself in this past year.
I have written and re-written this introduction several times trying to choose the perfect words to craft the perfect blog post for you this Mother’s Day. I quickly came to the realization that my vocabulary is not vast enough to describe how much I love you or how blessed I am to call you my mother.
On February 18, 1994 at 6:14 pm your life was forever changed. 21 years later you are my home owning, pet parent, high school graduate, Drexel University alumni, Mercedes Benz driving, Versace glasses wearing mommy. Your life story is a testament to your determination, ambition, love, strength, faith, desire, humor and intelligence. The older I get the more I try to embody the strength of that 18 year old mother and high school student ready to take on the world.
You are the reason why I am the young woman that I am today. You taught me that hard work and determination will get me anywhere I want to go. You are always my guiding light. Whenever I have a question or just need someone to talk to you are always there to listen. You have taught me how to be a strong independent black woman. Even though it is so cliché I really don’t know where I would be without your love, dedication and compassion. Happy Mother’s Day!
The world is ours.
P.S. I told my friend that you want my children to call you Glammom and her reply was, “How are they going to be able to pronounce that? They are going to end up calling her Glum-Glum.” So yes I will allow my children to call you Glammom 🙂
How are you? I hope this letter finds you well. People ask me about you frequently. I tell them that you are doing fine and that you are the proud owner of a beautiful blue BMW. Even though we don’t talk your instagram and twitter tell me everything that I wish to know. I would be lying if I said I missed you, because I don’t. I don’t even yearn to have that one last conversation for “closure.”
I can say with confidence that I never thought I would see the day that we grew apart. Remember those days where when people saw you they saw me and we were never more than 50 feet away from each other? If the sentence began with Ariana it ended with you and vice versa? The days we had to defend our friendship to all of Renaissance Academy because of course we were fucking since there is no way in hell a boy and a girl can be just friends. Or how about when your girlfriends would get jealous over our friendship because they knew deep down inside you would always choose me over them? It’s funny, because I really liked some of them. Or when other girls used to call you bestie? Hahaha I don’t even want to get into that because we both knew what it was. Or how about when I cried because people said I was ugly? You were there for me. Or what about those late night conversations when we would discuss our future? Who knew I would end up in New York and you, Virginia? Or how about when I got my first boyfriend and I couldn’t wait to hear your opinion?
I thought this shit would never end. Besties for life we used to say again and again. August 28,2008. What you thought I would forget? You changed my life forever and I still consider you my friend. I’m tearing up while I write so I guess I miss you just a little bit. You taught me the meaning of friendship, compassion, forgiveness, and loyalty.
Time changes things sometimes for the worst and for the better. I’m still a Kanye fan and his music can’t get any better! I haven’t changed too much but you should be able to tell that if you are reading this letter. Even though we don’t talk just know I’m never far. So Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year because we both always forget to call. I’m sorry for publishing this letter online. Just let me know if you like me to take it down. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to get more personal with my readers so they can truly get a sense of who I am. Keep working hard. Trust the timing of your life. The world is yours.
P.S. Your girlfriend is beyond gorgeous!