“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes … the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. … Continue reading
Merriam-Webster defines the word disrespect as saying or doing something that shows a lack of respect for (someone or something). In other words, when one fails to show respect it is because he or she does not believe that the person he or she is coming in contact with is worthy of their respect.
Disrespect comes in various shapes, sizes, words, and actions. At times it can be difficult to recognize the fact that you are getting disrespected. I am going to fill you in on 7 phrases that men say to women that are actually very disrespectful.
1. When are you going to let me hit?/ I’m trying to take you down.
This is one of, if not the most disrespectful thing that a man could ever say to a woman. It is not okay to ask a woman how long it is going to take until she allows you to have sex with her. It is so degrading, tasteless, rude, and down right thirsty. It makes a man seem as if he cannot possibly take an interest in who she is as a person, because he cannot control his raging hormones and must know how soon they can have sex. I have had various men use this phrase with me via face to face and text message conversations. Because of my previous experiences with this phrase I am lead to believe that men don’t know that this phrase is disrespectful and that women respond to this statement in a positive manner. Ladies this phrase should not be tolerated. If a man asks you this question call him out on his disrespect.
2. Yo Ma! Yo Shawty!
Men this is no way to address a young lady! If you are on one side of the street and she is on the other do not yell at her to get her attention. There is no need to yell, be embarrassing, and act like a fool. This method rarely works, because the girl is so embarrassed by your actions. Just a little FYI, women don’t like being yelled at by strangers. Try a different approach like walking up to her and calmly asking her name.
3. You’re cute for a…
This statement is what people like to call a backhanded compliment. A backhanded compliment is a statement that is a combination of an insult and praise. No one likes to get insulted. So men if you find yourself thinking, “She’s cute for a…” stop yourself right there and don’t allow that thought to leave your head.
4. Do you like girls?
Men just please stop asking this question. Your sexual fantasy of two women in your bed while you watch is never going to come true. SO STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION. Would you believe me if I told you that if the girl you are talking to is gay or bisexual she will let you know prior to any type of sexual activity? BELIEVE IT! That will give you two plenty of time to pick out a girl to invite into your bedroom. Again, STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION.
5. I like your hair better when…
Guess what? It’s not your hair and she will style her hair however she wishes. This statement is disrespectful, because you are forcing her to believe that you find her more beautiful when her hair is in a certain style. She should feel beautiful whenever she is around you not only when her hair is in your favorite hairstyle.
6. When you going to send me some pictures?
I am almost 100% sure that every young lady between the ages of 14-26 has been asked this question before. Men do not ask this question, because it is an automatic turnoff. Again you make yourself seem as though you have no control of your raging hormones and that you only have a physical attraction to the girl. A girl wants to be with a guy who likes her for who she is, not just for what she looks like or what he thinks she can do in the bedroom. Guys I am going to give you a tip, if you really want to see pictures of a girl just ask for her Instagram handle. The only bad thing about the tip I just gave you is girls know what a man is doing when he only asks for her Instagram handle. He wants to see some pictures and doesn’t want you to be exposed to whatever is on his Facebook or Twitter.
7. What does your man have to do with me?
I have had a boy tell me that my boyfriend had nothing to do with the relationship that he was seeking to begin with me. Men if she is telling you that she has a boyfriend it is because she wants nothing to do with you. It is irrational to get upset or try to pursue a honest female who is in a committed relationship. When making this statement you make your lack of morals obvious. You come off as dishonest, lonely, lame and need I say disrespectful.
How are you? I hope this letter finds you well. People ask me about you frequently. I tell them that you are doing fine and that you are the proud owner of a beautiful blue BMW. Even though we don’t talk your instagram and twitter tell me everything that I wish to know. I would be lying if I said I missed you, because I don’t. I don’t even yearn to have that one last conversation for “closure.”
I can say with confidence that I never thought I would see the day that we grew apart. Remember those days where when people saw you they saw me and we were never more than 50 feet away from each other? If the sentence began with Ariana it ended with you and vice versa? The days we had to defend our friendship to all of Renaissance Academy because of course we were fucking since there is no way in hell a boy and a girl can be just friends. Or how about when your girlfriends would get jealous over our friendship because they knew deep down inside you would always choose me over them? It’s funny, because I really liked some of them. Or when other girls used to call you bestie? Hahaha I don’t even want to get into that because we both knew what it was. Or how about when I cried because people said I was ugly? You were there for me. Or what about those late night conversations when we would discuss our future? Who knew I would end up in New York and you, Virginia? Or how about when I got my first boyfriend and I couldn’t wait to hear your opinion?
I thought this shit would never end. Besties for life we used to say again and again. August 28,2008. What you thought I would forget? You changed my life forever and I still consider you my friend. I’m tearing up while I write so I guess I miss you just a little bit. You taught me the meaning of friendship, compassion, forgiveness, and loyalty.
Time changes things sometimes for the worst and for the better. I’m still a Kanye fan and his music can’t get any better! I haven’t changed too much but you should be able to tell that if you are reading this letter. Even though we don’t talk just know I’m never far. So Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year because we both always forget to call. I’m sorry for publishing this letter online. Just let me know if you like me to take it down. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to get more personal with my readers so they can truly get a sense of who I am. Keep working hard. Trust the timing of your life. The world is yours.
P.S. Your girlfriend is beyond gorgeous!
I am going to be all alone on the most romantic day of the year. Only if I could change my face or my body! Then I would have a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s day with. SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU ARE HAVING A NIGHTMARE.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret…Valentine’s Day was a holiday created to sell candy, flowers, cards, food and gifts.
The actual history of Valentine’s Day is actually not very romantic at all. The Catholic Church recognizes three different saints with he name Valentine, all three were killed. According to the first myth, Valentine was a priest who was killed for continuing to perform marriages in secret for young lovers after Emperor Claudius II banned marriage for young men.
Another myth tells us that Valentine was killed for helping Christians escape the harsh Roman prisons. The final legend suggest that, a jailed Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting after he fell in love with a young girl-who visited him during his confinement.
Valentine’s Day is not about doing romantic things and snuggling up with your significant other all day. On Valentine’s Day you can show anyone who you love how much you appreciate them.
How about starting with yourself? You love yourself, right? Who said that you needed a boyfriend or girlfriend to make you feel special on Valentine’s Day? Make yourself feel special, you deserve it. After all no one can love you if you do not first love yourself. Get dressed up for yourself. Pull out that dress or cute shirt that you only wear on special occasions, comb your hair, and don’t forget your confidence.
Call some of your friends or family members and ask them if they would like to do something with you. You all could go to a restaurant, the mall, the movies, the city, out roller skating, the spa, or a concert. Have fun! Remember its your day to appreciate yourself and those whom you love. You do not have to go out and do anything special if you do not want to. You could have a movie night or game night with your parents and siblings. You may not have a significant other but you have yourself and others who love you. Have fun and remember no boyfriend or girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, no problem!