This post is completely and unapologetically inspired by my boyfriend. If you are dating a law student you probably hate this time of the semester just as much as I do-FINALS TIME. Finals time is so brutal, because your lover practically … Continue reading
It took me longer than usual to figure out the exact message I wanted to articulate in this post. I was able to find all of the words to say, because I have had some bad friends that I have stopped associating with.
Every single person has had a bad friend before. The question is have we all learned our lesson? Have bad friends learned how to become the ideal friend?
I will be the first to admit that it is hard for me to let go of certain friendships. I usually struggle with letting go of friendships that I have had for years. I am a loyal and honest person, so when loyalty and honesty isn’t reciprocated I’m hurt. I’ve learned that not everyone is supposed to go with you to your next stage in life. Don’t continue to hold on to something that God wants you to let go of.
Everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes people do and say things that can threaten or severely damage their friendships. We would all like to think that we have amazing friends, but if you recognize any of the five traits listed below within one or some of your friends you may want to reevaluate your circle.
Below I have outlined 5 signs that you have a bad friend.
Takes and Rarely Gives
I am an only child so I never had to share with anyone on a consistent basis prior to college. College has taught me the importance of giving freely. In a friendship both parties should be willing to help each other in trying times and in not so trying times. You and your friend do not have to exchange physical gifts, but having a friend that gives you time and attention is so valuable. Having a shoulder to cry on is something that money can’t buy. If you have a friend that takes your time, gas and food for granted you may want to consider terminating that friendship.
Always With the Drama
I am a 21-year-old female and I live a completely drama free life. I will not invite a person into my life that involves his or herself with drama. Drama is usually birthed from a lack of communication and this communication major makes it a priority to communicate effectively. As you get older the drama in your life is supposed to decrease significantly. Life is too short not to be drama-free.
Tells Others Your Business
If you share information with your friend about your personal life and they tell someone else your personal business terminate that friendship on the spot. A friendship requires trust. If you tell your friend something because you are seeking advice or just need someone to vent to they should respect your privacy enough to keep that information to his or herself. Some people can’t help but gossip and a true friend would never gossip about someone they care about. A friend who feels comfortable spreading your business all around town probably feeds off of drama.
Not a Good Listener
I cannot be a friend to someone who does not listen well. I cannot befriend a poor listener, because we won’t be able to communicate with each other effectively. Those who do not communicate well are frustrating to work with. Also, when people care about each other they listen to each other’s stories no matter how boring the stories are.
You Always Reach Out To Them First
I believe that if the feelings are mutual the efforts will be equal. I’m a firm believer that people make time for what they believe is important. If your friend is always too busy to reach out to you then your friend doesn’t deem your friendship as something worthy of his or her time.
“My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.” –Lee Iacocca
HAPPY BIRTHDAY REAL TALK! Thank you to all of my readers and subscribers. This year has been one of growth, constant change, and experimenting. Thank you so much for supporting me and trusting my advice. Having a platform to share my life with you all means so much to me. I have learned so much about journalism and myself in this past year.
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes … the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. … Continue reading
Merriam-Webster defines the word disrespect as saying or doing something that shows a lack of respect for (someone or something). In other words, when one fails to show respect it is because he or she does not believe that the person he or she is coming in contact with is worthy of their respect.
Disrespect comes in various shapes, sizes, words, and actions. At times it can be difficult to recognize the fact that you are getting disrespected. I am going to fill you in on 7 phrases that men say to women that are actually very disrespectful.
1. When are you going to let me hit?/ I’m trying to take you down.
This is one of, if not the most disrespectful thing that a man could ever say to a woman. It is not okay to ask a woman how long it is going to take until she allows you to have sex with her. It is so degrading, tasteless, rude, and down right thirsty. It makes a man seem as if he cannot possibly take an interest in who she is as a person, because he cannot control his raging hormones and must know how soon they can have sex. I have had various men use this phrase with me via face to face and text message conversations. Because of my previous experiences with this phrase I am lead to believe that men don’t know that this phrase is disrespectful and that women respond to this statement in a positive manner. Ladies this phrase should not be tolerated. If a man asks you this question call him out on his disrespect.
2. Yo Ma! Yo Shawty!
Men this is no way to address a young lady! If you are on one side of the street and she is on the other do not yell at her to get her attention. There is no need to yell, be embarrassing, and act like a fool. This method rarely works, because the girl is so embarrassed by your actions. Just a little FYI, women don’t like being yelled at by strangers. Try a different approach like walking up to her and calmly asking her name.
3. You’re cute for a…
This statement is what people like to call a backhanded compliment. A backhanded compliment is a statement that is a combination of an insult and praise. No one likes to get insulted. So men if you find yourself thinking, “She’s cute for a…” stop yourself right there and don’t allow that thought to leave your head.
4. Do you like girls?
Men just please stop asking this question. Your sexual fantasy of two women in your bed while you watch is never going to come true. SO STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION. Would you believe me if I told you that if the girl you are talking to is gay or bisexual she will let you know prior to any type of sexual activity? BELIEVE IT! That will give you two plenty of time to pick out a girl to invite into your bedroom. Again, STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION.
5. I like your hair better when…
Guess what? It’s not your hair and she will style her hair however she wishes. This statement is disrespectful, because you are forcing her to believe that you find her more beautiful when her hair is in a certain style. She should feel beautiful whenever she is around you not only when her hair is in your favorite hairstyle.
6. When you going to send me some pictures?
I am almost 100% sure that every young lady between the ages of 14-26 has been asked this question before. Men do not ask this question, because it is an automatic turnoff. Again you make yourself seem as though you have no control of your raging hormones and that you only have a physical attraction to the girl. A girl wants to be with a guy who likes her for who she is, not just for what she looks like or what he thinks she can do in the bedroom. Guys I am going to give you a tip, if you really want to see pictures of a girl just ask for her Instagram handle. The only bad thing about the tip I just gave you is girls know what a man is doing when he only asks for her Instagram handle. He wants to see some pictures and doesn’t want you to be exposed to whatever is on his Facebook or Twitter.
7. What does your man have to do with me?
I have had a boy tell me that my boyfriend had nothing to do with the relationship that he was seeking to begin with me. Men if she is telling you that she has a boyfriend it is because she wants nothing to do with you. It is irrational to get upset or try to pursue a honest female who is in a committed relationship. When making this statement you make your lack of morals obvious. You come off as dishonest, lonely, lame and need I say disrespectful.
I don’t fiddle with mics but I spill my heart onto the page
I hope my words penetrate your soul and plant the seeds of inspiration
Because I am just like you
I want to grow up and fulfill all of my dreams just like you
I want to reach my maximum potential too
I want to work hard just like you
I want my people to love me just like you
I’ll see you at the top because I want to change lives too
This was completely inspired by the rappers J.Cole and Kanye West.
Be e ve ry where.
B e p a t i e n t.